So here we are again, are you ready to walk down memory lane with me on a day that I was a total train wreck? I will ask you one thing, as you read this can you identify with what I am sharing and maybe even see yourself in it? It all started on a Saturday morning have you heard the phrases “waking up on the wrong side of the bed” and “a bear with a sore behind.” That is how my day started and ended and to make matters worse my wife works for a hospital and she has off every other weekend and it just so happens this is her weekend off.

So I am sure she was thinking “Really this had to happen on my weekend off and now I have to put up with this all day instead of only a part of the day?” Murphey’s law was in full effect, “anything that could go wrong will go wrong.” All day long one thing after another kept going wrong and instead of addressing it I kept stuffing it down inside of me until the volcano eruption took place. The smoke was billowing and the hot lava was spewing out all over the place. I could not reel myself in and needless to say my wife was getting the brunt of the storm. So I went to bed the same way I woke up. The next day (Sunday) I got up and took our dog a walk to try and release the stress that had built up from the previous day. The guilt, shame, and condemnation was coming at me from all sides as if it was a flood drowning me in it.

I literally was walking hunched over hanging my head in sorrow. I remembered 1 John 1:9 and was mumbling it over and over out loud to myself. “If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and purify us from all unrighteous.” When I was a young Christian I remembered being taught this very verse because I was told you are nothing but a miserable sinner and you will have to say this scripture over and over. So at this point I am feeling pretty bad about myself “nothing but a miserable sinner” trying to convince God that He had to forgive me according to His word which He does time and time again, as this guilt, shame, and condemnation was eating away at me. Then all of a sudden the Holy Spirit arrested me and said “If you think repentance is something (a Law) that you have to do then it will be something (a Law) that you feel you must do (a Law) but if you look at repentance as a gift from God and receive it as a gift and not a law when you stumble and fall instead of being like Adam and Eve where they ran and hid from Him you will run to Him and freely open up this gift of repentance and forgiveness.”

I am going to end this right here and the next time we get together I am going to share with you what happened in my life when I took the advice from the Holy Spirit and received repentance and forgiveness as a gift and not as a law and opened it up and what the result had on guilt, shame and condemnation throughout my life. I will give you a hint, it’s exciting!!!!!